its' in my head. a storm. clouds billowing out and lightening streaking through the sky. I want to touch the lightening. I want to throw the bolts. I want to watch the earth open up and drink deep the water from above.
I feel alive when it rains. I breathe easy.
I got another rat. He's hairless. I like his personality. I"m lonely this week. Really lonely. Leo went on vacation and I told him to take Midge (our older dog) with him. I wanted him to go - but it's the first time in awhile that I've looked at our time together and started to really worry that he's marrying me becasue he could possibly think he can't find anyone else to love him. I mean, it already seems sometimes like he likes his friends more than me.
i called in late to work today, claiming I had a flat tire - but it was a lie. A bold faced lie. Horrible, really - I was just absolutely exhausted. I sleep so deeply that it doesn't really feel like I sleep at all when Leo isn't here.
sometimes I feel so despairing about the negativity in the world. I see so many people walking around angry and upset and sad and tormented. I cant help them and that sucks.
i'm too scattered to do this tonight.
